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 What Are You Doing?

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tsukasayuki
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PostSubject: What Are You Doing?   Fri Apr 23, 2010 10:19 am

Recently I've found myself become more and more depressed with life.

One big issue is this simple question that really bugs me when I am asked it.

That is
What are you majoring in?

I can't give an answer. I don't know what I want with my life, and I don't really care. I want life to be easy y'know? I need money, and I just wanna sit in my room and draw and write... for myself.
I can't handle taking writing and drawing classes; they hardly help me.

And lately I've been feeling extremely mediocre in everything that I do (and I enjoy doing it).

My drawings aren't even that great, the only time I feel confident about my singing is when I'm playing Rock Band (it feels damn good to get a 100% on Expert singing :3), I feel my writing is mediocre and my ideas are just too complicated for anyone but me to understand.

And I just want the time to create what I want for myself, because I'm not going to judge what I think will be great.

As of now, I decided in a Business Administration Major so I can actually answer that question, but it's still not what I want.

So, to everyone else,
what are your majors/fields of study? What do you plan on doing with yourselves?

_________________

~Sleeping within the closed book
Is the name of Pandora’s treasure
I always
stare at it
Concealing my sighs of
hesitation~
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Seraphim_Zera
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Fri Apr 23, 2010 3:40 pm

I know the feeling Yuki, I know the feeling all too well. Recently I can't even bring myself to draw because I'm afraid I won't be able to live up to my own expectations. I've given up on my classes for now, and though I say I'm majoring in Software Development, its not entirely something I want to do.

I just graduated from high school last year, and for now I just want a job so I can work and not think. It sounds stupid but I really don't want to have to worry about paper deadlines and having to study. But no matter what I can't find a job. I'm not sure what to do. I'm just hoping my parents won't kick me out since I won't go to school for a while.

And actually school wouldn't be such a pain if I wasn't forced to be a full time student who takes 4 classes.
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TriRevan
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Fri Apr 23, 2010 5:44 pm

My ideal plan is to become a teacher in Math, English, or Philosophy. Better further would be if I could teach more than one of those. And best yet, I could aim for being a professor.. I'd be called a Dr.... Razz
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HaseoXthofTwilight
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Fri Apr 23, 2010 6:04 pm

Id say ya know already what you want Yuki.
If you want to draw then draw. You may not feel like your the best out there but as long as you enjoy your art and it makes you happy then to hell with anyone who says your not.
Ive always tried to lead a simple life myself. As long as I can make my AMV's and listen to my music ill be happy. Every once in a while something will come along you really want and you have to go for it when you get the chance or you might end up missing out on it.

When I first started really joining studios on yt II looked around at everyone that was so much better than me and it got really hard to wanna keep editing. But then I see a nice comment from someone and it reminds me that I started editing in the first place because I really loved doing it and doing it with my friends.
Im now only active in 3 groups including Seekers and thats the way I like it. Another reason why I find people obsessed with the number of subs they have ridiculous.

f your content in your righting and it brings a smile to your face when you sing and when you draw then do those things even if other people tell you your not good enough or you can't. Its your life and your choice what to do not theirs or anyone who thinks you should major in something.

This post seems to have gone long so ill shut up now.
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TriRevan
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Fri Apr 23, 2010 7:09 pm

Yeah, the time will come when we all know what we have to do in life. Even if we've already picked a destination, our true calling may yet to come at that point.

Hm, I've also been trying (not too hard, though..) to get a girlfriend these days. I figure in college it'd be a lot easier.
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tsukasayuki
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:44 pm

Haha.. It's weird Zero. Because I spent a whole year with full-time employment, and felt I was missing something. And then I enrolled in college.

We're always wanting the time to do the things we want to do, and no matter what, we are always on a limit of time. That's because we need money to survive in this day and age, and can't do a damn thing besides make the money to meet our basic survival need (food and shelter) : (
It's really depressing...

I'm really feeling down.

And yeah, me too Zero. I haven't drawn in forever. I look back at my older drawings and realize that I've done some really good ones, but I can't seem to get back into it. It's because of that time factor... I don't have the time to do what I enjoy cause I need the money to live.

And thanks Hashy. I wish I could do it just like that, but life right now won't allow me to.

And Tri, you'll get one :3

_________________

~Sleeping within the closed book
Is the name of Pandora’s treasure
I always
stare at it
Concealing my sighs of
hesitation~
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TriRevan
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:15 pm

Well, this life, this world, will only ever be what you let it become.
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HaseoXthofTwilight
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Fri Apr 23, 2010 11:19 pm

As Tri added to my point. This life of yours will only be what you let it.
If you let your constraints bind you now they will forever bind you.

I know you may only be able to find mall times to draw now a days but tell me, do those times not feel like your happiest Yuki?
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tsukasayuki
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Fri Apr 23, 2010 11:22 pm

Whenever I can draw or progress in my story ideas are when I do feel happiest =^^=;;;

And y'know what, when I can sing freely and feel good about it too :3

_________________

~Sleeping within the closed book
Is the name of Pandora’s treasure
I always
stare at it
Concealing my sighs of
hesitation~
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HaseoXthofTwilight
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Fri Apr 23, 2010 11:59 pm

See? ^^

Sounds like ya already had your mind made up you just needed to see it for yourself. hee hee.
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proceedtoheaven
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:29 am

i have no major myself yet...im in the same boat as you yuki ^^

my interests dont seem to interest me much anymore...and i got NO idea whats up XDD

so your not alone @_@

_________________


"If time's a song, i wont wait for its reprise
I am done wishing farewells and goodbyes
I wont let this place overshadow my birthright
I wont wait another Eon
"

Celldweller - Eon
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HaseoXthofTwilight
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:33 am

Sod o you find happiness in your day to day life even though you don't have a major?
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proceedtoheaven
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:45 am

lol my day to day life hasnt been something happy...in a very..very...veeery long time XDD i dont think it has been since i was like 13? XD since then ive dealt with the nightmare of financial instability. Being evicted from this place and that place...not eating sometimes for a week with anything other then water and chicken broth. Scrounging loose change for bits of food XDD my parents endless biccering due to the stress of that and my handicapped brother. my lifes been just one huge ball of stress since i was old enough to understand what stress IS XDD so happyness in day to day life is foreign to me to be honest. I just live day by day doing what i can to stay relatively happy ^_^

I really just want a job i can somewhat enjoy(not huge requirement) but i want something that pays good and is decently secure. ive considered police force...but it just seems so...boring...and stale...

*edit* damn...went on a real bad rant there O-o

_________________


"If time's a song, i wont wait for its reprise
I am done wishing farewells and goodbyes
I wont let this place overshadow my birthright
I wont wait another Eon
"

Celldweller - Eon
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HaseoXthofTwilight
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:57 am

Damn..

Alright Heaven it is not usually in my nature...but I think it is something you need to have to at least make your day a little better..


*quick guy hug then acts cool* >.>
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kingalex120
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:59 am

*joins in the hug trapping hashy*
Hug for meh brotha!
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proceedtoheaven
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 1:07 am

^_^ *hugs back then pats your shoulders*

thanks ^^ but the way i see it is im alive...i can make it better. I just gotta keep trying. But its like fate has a hard on for kicking me to the dirt really XDD the most luck ive had as of late was the fact i got aproved for 5 grand of financial aid to actualy GO to school XD cause god knows i wouldnt have that without the aid ^^
and the extra money i got from the aid NOT used for school finances was used to pay my dads car insurance...food...and our cable/phone and internet XDD lol most of its been payed back to me...mostly O-o but ill get it back. XD

life has been interesting for me XD

_________________


"If time's a song, i wont wait for its reprise
I am done wishing farewells and goodbyes
I wont let this place overshadow my birthright
I wont wait another Eon
"

Celldweller - Eon
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kingalex120
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 1:12 am

We're here for ya whenever ya need us brother.
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proceedtoheaven
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 1:15 am

thanks man ^_^ i appreciate it.

But no worries..for the most part im solid. ive dealt with serious shit in my time man so it takes something hardcore to get under my skin.

_________________


"If time's a song, i wont wait for its reprise
I am done wishing farewells and goodbyes
I wont let this place overshadow my birthright
I wont wait another Eon
"

Celldweller - Eon
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kingalex120
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 1:17 am

I'd Expect nothing less from Heaven-sempai!
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proceedtoheaven
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 1:20 am

Of course! 8D i dont let down XDD

But im pretty open about my past...im an open book if anyone wants to hear some stories. wave already has heard a quite many...

_________________


"If time's a song, i wont wait for its reprise
I am done wishing farewells and goodbyes
I wont let this place overshadow my birthright
I wont wait another Eon
"

Celldweller - Eon
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tsukasayuki
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 8:30 am

F*ck Heaven! =o.o=
I've been evicted once and one of our very favorite cars being repossessed.

But evicted more than once? Man Heaven. Sad

But you're right. As long as you're alive things will get better.

And dude, that is a nice sum of financial aid. That's a really good thing to hear :3

*hugs Heaven*

_________________

~Sleeping within the closed book
Is the name of Pandora’s treasure
I always
stare at it
Concealing my sighs of
hesitation~
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proceedtoheaven
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:15 pm

ive seen afew cars repossesed XD it blows O_o

oh yeah XDD and one time back in my junior year our landlord stuck a tennis ball into our cespool piping and backed it up into our garage to get us to leave. we lost all our family photos...movies...a couch and allot of other stuff cause of that. all just cuz my dad was in a coma and we couldnt pay ^^ dontya love people? XD

exactly ^_^

*hugs back* ^_^

_________________


"If time's a song, i wont wait for its reprise
I am done wishing farewells and goodbyes
I wont let this place overshadow my birthright
I wont wait another Eon
"

Celldweller - Eon
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tsukasayuki
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 7:26 pm

What the fuck? That does blow.

Something tells me you probably shouldn't stay in NY =o.o=

:3 *hugs some more*

_________________

~Sleeping within the closed book
Is the name of Pandora’s treasure
I always
stare at it
Concealing my sighs of
hesitation~
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kingalex120
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 8:08 pm

Goddamn Bro just..FUCK...
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proceedtoheaven
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PostSubject: Re: What Are You Doing?   Sat Apr 24, 2010 8:20 pm

the only other place ive lived in was florida...and my fondest memories of tht place involve being chased down by a squad of cuban/mexican/puertorican teenagers with golf clubs bats and random assortmen of other weapons XDD

OH! best memory...christmas day, i get anew bike right? my dad worked his ass off to get it for me ^^ well i take it out (this is in fl and relates to what i just said so keep that in mind) and im not out 15 minutes before the roaming squad of fucktard sees me chases e down until i fall off my bike...so what do i do? im like 8-9 i just get up and RUN...they start chasing me and i manage to squirrel up a tree. so when they couldnt get me they trashed my bike...beat it to hell. about...3-4 hours later they finally gave up and left...and not gunna lie...i was balling my eyes out. i walked up to my back door and my dad saw me..asked whats wrong and i just told him the kids names ( i have LONG since forgotten XD) and thet they destroyed it and chased me up a tree with all this stuff...my dads head went fucking PURPLE! like imagine the hulk but purple and that was my dad XD (no im not joking my dads a monster o_O) he busts ass out the backdoor and i follow him cause if theres one thing in this world i know i can count on..its my dads rage when his kids are hurt. so i know that theyr gunna get handed an AMAZING ass whooping...my dads lunging over bushes and chasing these ass's down on their bikes and hes picking them off one by one lifting them straight off the boke and just throwing em around like toys XD whats the best part of this though is when we get to thwere they all live all their families all huddle in ONE apartment cause theyr scared to death of my dad XD im talking liek 6 grown men huddling in fear in one house with their kids yelling shit talk out the window but too scared to come out XDD

lol man....i was 9...12 years ago...*shakes my head* XD wow...

_________________


"If time's a song, i wont wait for its reprise
I am done wishing farewells and goodbyes
I wont let this place overshadow my birthright
I wont wait another Eon
"

Celldweller - Eon
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