Something I want to get off my mind.

Ok I'll start it off by saying: I'm depressed Not so depressed that it's the end of the world. But It hurts pretty bad. There's A girl that I fell in love with back in my freshman year. Gorgeous girl I've ever known. You know How most guys have that one fucked up problem with talking to girls, well I had the problem. I had it bad. I could talk to her in 5th grade and we were fairly dissent friends. I was kind of a weirdo when I was a kid.........And a little obnoxious. There are things I've done as a kid I do have deep regrets on that I'm not proud of. I got mad at her one time in 3rd or 4th grade, I can't remember which. But in the end I kinda made me look crazy. Once again, I'm not proud if it. And these things haunt me. Cause every time I think about the past, It's like it punches me right in the face. And there's nothing i can do to change it. Which there isn't.

Anyway, I could never get this girl out of my mind. I've tried many times. And I just randomly found her on face book. I looked in my class year list and looked her up. I had a hunch I shouldn't cause I new I'd be hurting myself. And I did of course. I learn she has a 2 year old daughter. I guess that's cool but..........

For thoughs who took the time to read this, Thanks. There's lots more I could say but I'll wait for some replies.

Aw, man, that's some deep shit. I know what it's like to have my life, for the most part, ruined by a girl (Yuki knows this intimately... I've talked to her).

Life's a fickle thing, my friend. And love is even fickler. My fundamental philosophy of love is this one sentence: it is a risk and a sacrifice thereof.

Never regret anything you have done (I have.. and it hurts sometimes more than the initial pain). Each moment of your past forges your present and future and creates who you are. If you wish you could go back to change something, that'll change who you are completely in this time.

My fundamental philosophy for pain therein, is that: it doesn't matter how pain comes, why it comes, how deep it is, or how long it lasts. What matters is how we react to it, and our reaction shows the whole world who we are.

I can't tell you how you should live your life from this, the choice is yours. This life, this world will only ever be what you make of it.

Yeah you're right. I've thought many times about contacting her, but you know how we're afraid on how they respond. And that's my problem there. One side tells me I should see her just as a friend but another part of me says forget it. But if I can't do that then I can't move on. I'll be stuck in regret like always. I've made my decision to get a car and go down and see her, but I know I'm gonna have that feeling in my gut and feel like I need to puke in a trash can before I approach her door step. Not in her trash can though of course.

Good luck, to ya, then.

You never know what's to happen until, well, it happens.